A Date Deferred

13 Jan

A few days ago I went to lunch with a guy I had been hanging out with. He and I had been seeing each other pretty causally for the past few months. We actually met the day I was told I would be laid-off at the end of the month; October 1st, 2009. So he has seen me make the transition from working a 9-5p everyday, to being unemployed and confused, and now he has seen me make the conscious decision to become a fulltime designer. Career-wise, this guy is the polar opposite of me. He wears a suit and tie to work every day, manages multimillion dollar projects, and travels business class.

On the day of our lunch date it seemed that our differences were magnified. He picked me up at our meeting place and we began talking about what we had done all day. He, fully clad in a suit, had come from the office and I was on my way from sewing class. The mere mention of “sewing class” seemed hysterical to him and he proceeded to make fun of me. I even showed him this very blog and he thought that idea of devoting a post to a pair of sweatpants was laughable.

I have always been the type of woman attracted to successful men. Something about an ambitious, confidant man in a suit has always been extremely sexy to me. While I may seem like an new-age bohemian, I’m always attracted to these type of guys because I see myself in them. However that type of man often comes with a bit of arrogance and I have always been fine with that. I am very good at keeping egos in check and sometimes a little well-tamed arrogance can be sexy too. But now that I am no longer an office-going-business-casual-wearing career woman, I am starting to become aware of how these suit-and-tie type guys view me.

While fashion design may seem frivolous to some, it doesn’t change the fact that I am ambitious and seek success as much as the next suit-and-tie guy. At some point during the lunch I mention how hungry I was from running around all day since 9am and he responded with “Welcome to the real world”. Excuse me… While I dont wake up at 7am, have a coffee and commute to work, it doesnt mean I am not a member of the real world. Like other “real worlders” I wake up everyday with an agenda  and tasks to carry out. Like other real worlders my day can go from 9am to 5pm and sometimes beyond. But unlike most real worlders I love what I do and I know that the skills I learn and the art I create come from my heart. I see my work as an artistic contribution to this earth and with each mini-milestone I am proud of myself.

Granted his little quips and jokes here and there didn’t make me doubt my ability our ruin the lunch; but it definitely made me rethink hanging out with him again. Now that I am a starving artist, I am interested to see how the suit-and-tie type guys who I am naturally attracted to view me. But I do know that if they don’t see me as an ambitious successful career-oriented person like they see themselves, then it wont go too far. Fashion design is my dream and it will not be deferred.


4 Responses to “A Date Deferred”

  1. Deeds January 13, 2010 at 6:31 pm #

    If you were to gather 100 “creative types” in a room, for every poet or pianist that was encouraged, there would be a dancer or a sculptor that was told that their dreams are frivolous and unworthy of full-time pursuit.

    Ironically we live in a society that promotes
    strait-laced, cookie-cutter living, but doesn’t realize that our greatest inventions (airplanes, television, the internet, etc) stem from imagination and creativity. So maybe those artsy folks are on to something?

    Either way, anyone can put on a suit and report to a desk. Not everyone has talent, and even less have the guts to pursue their dreams. So I’m sure that I’m not just speaking for myself when I say that I look forward to growth of your gift (s).
    Good luck in all.

  2. Vincent Sherry January 14, 2010 at 12:15 am #

    Keep your interaction with negative people to a minimum.

  3. Suit and Tie Guy January 18, 2010 at 3:03 pm #

    I am a snap shot of the guy you refer to in your blog. I consider my self on the track to success, however I love my career. There are many of us who enjoy when a woman who aspires to attain their inevitable passions. Arrogance is not attractive when its directed towards you, which appeared to have occurred during your lunch. Please don’t accept that from him no matter the strength of your attraction to him. I think “artsy” women keeps men like me in-tuned with the world and brings a brighter perspective on life.

    I would say don’t give up on the “Suit and Tie” guys, we all aren’t so bad.

    Your Blogs are cool.

  4. Beautiful Nightmare January 19, 2010 at 11:41 am #

    I would laugh at the fact that he feels his redundant lifestyle is better than getting paid to fulfill your dreams. I feel that Artists have to work 10x harder and have 10x as much passion as the “Suit and Tie” since it is so hard to succeed in this business. A lot of people feel that “9-5” jobs equal success. Don’t get me wrong, money is always good to have, but the more money you have, the more money you owe. I much rather fulfill my dreams than to recycle the white man’s money. And I rather spend 25% of my life creating my empire than spend 75% of my life working to get to the top of someone else’s dream….then retire! I don’t knock anybody’s hustle or anybody’s chosen lifestyle because their life is their life. I can only encourage people to go after what they want, no matter if it is an investment banking job for stability or their dream job for attainability.

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