Sometimes You Gotta Snatch Your Own Snatch

21 Jun

So I gave myself a bikini wax this weekend. To be honest it’s something I had been thinking about doing for a long time. Usually I go to my girl Knong at Bang Salon for my monthly maintenance and every time I go (as I lay these and she rips me to shreds) I think “I could do this myself“. Women usually say that bikini waxes hurt less after a while….ummmm thats bullshit. I got my first one in 2006 when I went to Miami for the first time for Spring Break. That day I became addicted to two things that caused me pain; Miami and bikini waxes. While Miami puts a hurting on my wallet and I still go back just about every year; waxing puts a hurting on my nether region and I still go back just about every month.

As I’ve been working on this collection I have become more conscious of my finances. In an attempt to live the same fabulous lifestyle I always have; I’ve had to make a few cuts. While redoing my budget for the summer I thought about that $50 a month I spent snatching my snatch and I had the idea that I could save that money and do it myself.

Without much research I took a walk to my neighborhood CVS Pharmacy and perused the hair removal isle. I checked out all the different products and finally settled on “Sally Hansen Brazilian Bikini Wax Kit”. Why? Because it sounded the most comprehensive. Ten bucks later I was home and ready to get to work. This kit was the type were you heated up the wax, spread it on, let it harden, and then rip it off!. There were no strips; no pretense, and I had no clue what I was doing.

As I slapped on the warm wax, let it harden, and prepared for the first tug I thought to myself “Why is it easier to let others hurt you than to hurt yourself?“. This moment was causing me great anxiety. All I was going to do was what Knong had been doing just about every month. And every month as she waxed me faster and rougher than I was comfortable with and chit-chatted about inappropriate things like how Nigerians are the best at credit card fraud, I thought “I could do this by my damn self!” The difference would be that I know my own body and I could go at my own pace and skip the chatter while my iPod was on shuffle providing me with soothing sounds.

But in this moment, in my own bathroom, I was terrified. It made me think of last summer when I dated this guy we’ll call B. He was tall and dark just like I liked and a young entrepreneur who played golf every Friday and graduated from my alma mater Howard University. By those credentials alone he was definitely on the fast track to husband material. After one week of dating he showed sure-fire signs that whatever was going on with us was NOT going to work. But I, like many women, have a difficult time breaking it off with someone . Yea we can walk out if we were cheated on (and some women even stay through that) or we can walk out if we’ve been physically abused (and some women can even stay through that) but we can’t walk out if there is something intrinsically wrong.

That was the issue with he and I. We just didn’t mesh. But he was so cute and so smart that I didn’t understand why things wouldn’t work? After about a month there were more signs and I made an attempt to break things off. In doing so…I was heartbroken so we rekindled the already dim flame. By the time we were about four months in B broke it off with me and again I was heartbroken. In hindsight I realized it was easier for me to let him break my heart than for me to do it myself. It was easier for me to let him give his little speech and be the one to call things off than it was for me to do it. Why is it easier to let other people hurt you than for you to hurt yourself?

Yes I was sad when I called things off with him but I should have just ridden it out. I knew I was making the right decision but at the time that decision made me sad. The mere fact that I was causing my own sadness was much too much for me to handle. But when he caused the same sadness I don’t know why it felt OK.

So as I prepared to pull off that first patch of wax I thought about B and let ‘er rip! It hurt like hell. No, it hurt like the fires of hell had risen up through my bathroom floor just to singe me. But at least it was me hurting me and not Knong, or B, or anyone else. I kept on ripping until I had a perfectly manicured front lawn. After an ibuprofen and a nap I decided next month I would be back to CVS and visiting my girl Sally Hansen. My hope is that as it gets easier for me to hurt myself it will get harder for others to do it.

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8 Responses to “Sometimes You Gotta Snatch Your Own Snatch”

  1. BACK June 21, 2010 at 8:42 am #

    i LOVE this! You’re so right! So right!

  2. Michelle June 21, 2010 at 9:09 am #

    This is right on the money. And I love the analogy. It is easier to let others hurt us. Sad but so true.

  3. McNasty June 21, 2010 at 9:20 am #

    Dope post. Analogy superb. Gotta luv someone this dedicated to gettn waxed lol…I kid.

  4. Rhea Whit June 21, 2010 at 9:40 am #

    OMG! This is soooo true. From the pain of waxing to the pain of significant other, your anaolgy is correct. Sad but true… LOVE LOVE LOVE the post! 🙂

  5. Char June 21, 2010 at 10:52 am #

    WOW!! This hit right on the spot for me! Great post!!

    Oh and I’m glad you admit that it still hurts after SEVERAL times you’ve gotten a wax. That is the main reason I will NEVER get another one! lol

  6. Boler June 21, 2010 at 12:05 pm #

    The pain of beauty, and the pain of lust lost.

    Its so very true, we allow others to hurt us (and sometimes pay them to do such) just so we don’t hurt ourselves. But pain is pain, self inflicted or not. I dig it!

  7. LaTrice June 21, 2010 at 12:14 pm #

    Nailed it Spec! Fantastic blog…keep ’em coming!! 🙂

  8. Mercii June 21, 2010 at 7:14 pm #

    LMFAO! THIS post was great. (though I coulda saved you the trouble based on my own AWFUL experience)

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